Everybody Hates Christian

Christian Ward & Helen Mort

British “poet” Christian Ward has been outed as a serial plagiarist. If you scroll down to the comments on the article, you can watch as Ward himself continues to dig his own hole.

I’m no psychoanalyst, but because stealing another’s work is a cardinal sin among artists of any stripe — punishable these days by immediate worldwide humiliation — the only motivation I can see for doing so is some deep-seated personal “issue.” To the rational, there is no publication or prize that is worth the risk. Which is exactly why it’s possible to get away with it (who in their right minds would steal poems?) at least long enough to embarrass everyone involved.

The good news: Christian Ward got caught and, barring cosmetic surgery and a name change, will likely live in permanent literary exile. The bad news: publishers might now feel compelled to spend time Googling submissions before signing even the smallest checks.

Everybody Hates Christian

3 thoughts on “Everybody Hates Christian

  1. RjT says:

    Here is one of Christian’s actual poems, I think. Lordy, he writes like a 10th grader:

    The Astronaut
    by Christian Ward

    The astronaut you married
    looks nothing like the photo.
    His head, for instance,
    is elongated like a horse’s.
    Perhaps it was the way
    he toyed with the Earth’s
    gravitational field during
    spacewalks that stretched
    the bone like silly putty,
    desperate to be dragged
    down so he could circle
    your body once more
    and rediscover its topography.

    Elongated like a horse’s? I can think of something else elongated on a horse more poetic than his head…. And NOT that, you pervs. I meant his *stride*, of course. 😉 Well, at least he’s got some good material for shame and isolation in his future. The douche.


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